Friday, July 15, 2016

Rumor #1: Thay Is a Dried Out Wasteland

Nuaros here.  Since we're just standing around waiting to board the next ship out, let's start the day with a good laugh.  Hopefully one that doesn't end up with me getting hit over the head.  Maybe instead of picking on what the nobles get up to just because they're rich enough to get bored, I'll pick on the stupid things outsiders believe about Thay.

Stop looking at me like that, Liroq.  I haven't said anything that bad yet.

Look, I don't mean 'outsiders' as in demons or creatures like that.  Those are a whole other matter and not one I want to know anything about, thank you very much.

No, I mean foreigners, all the kingdoms and races that are only fit to be here in chains.  <pause to spit off the dock>  Have you seen the way they usually show Thay on their maps?  It's no wonder they talk about us like we're still some sand-scrabbling backwater that needs our slaves to survive.  Everything they show is dry except for a few rivers and the lake.  Not a forest or a farm or so much as a tree.  Just look at it:

Excerpt from the 3rd edition Forgotten Realms map

It's like they think we haven't done anything here since we kicked Mulhorand out!  Or like it was a complete wasteland to begin with, which it wasn't.  (Or at least most of it wasn't.  There have always been some old scars on the land, but, you know, wizards.  They know how to leave a mark.)  The Rashemi who started out here only did so much but they had some forests and their own hardy plants.  The coastline on the Sea of Fallen Stars?  Plenty of green!  Always has been.

Then you have the chumps who think they have the "secret" map of what our land is really like.  Just look.  It has a little more green but none of the deep dark nastiness of the forests of Gauros.  Sure, we cut down whatever woods were in our way in some tharchs, but we didn't completely raze our own territory, not after we fought so hard for it.  (Okay, so we razed some of it, but only until the enemy gave in, and mostly in ways it could come back from.)  

Other cities know we ship tons of food across Faerun after growing it here.  They complain about how it's "slave goods" and morally wrong, but most of them are happy to buy it when their own harvests don't work out.  Just where do they think it comes from, if not from healthy soil?  Not every fucking thing is done by magic here.  Yes, the area around Tyraturos is still too dry, but there's only so much the weather net can do.  But this?  This is nonsense.

Excerpt from Unapproachable East

Much work, blood, and magic went into the land since we claimed it, believe it or not.  You don't have to be an elf to want a little green, and you don't have to be a druid to know that you need it to survive.  The nobles didn't want to live in Rashemi "hovels" or live like the nobles of Mulhorand, so they did something about it.  They did it on their own, some tharchions here, some noble families there, but it got done.  One of the only things the Red Wizards really pitched in for as far as I know was the weather net that makes it rain every night.  But that worked like a charm in most places.  We grow more food and drugs and other things than we know what to do with.

If they knew just how nice most of the First Escarpment is now, they would be bringing armies to our doorstep.  Better for us that they don't - even if it would be fun to kick their asses off the cliffs.  And the rumors will likely continue, anyway.  We have more sweeps across our land looking for spies and escaped slaves than you can get away from.  Even if a slave does make it out by some miracle, most of them keep their mouths shut or have some kind of unfortunate accident not long after.  Or they squeal and nobody believes them. 

And then there's the other major Red Wizard public project - the anti-scrying net of spells they keep running.  It just isn't possible to go scrying around our country, even if you are a powerful wizard.  We have all of the zulkirs making sure of it.  But that's a feature for another time.  We have a ship to board and work to do.

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